top of page
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Â
Search
Change coming
I'm pretty woo woo these days. Without the constant badgering of my depression, I'm open to more viewpoints. Apart from ketamine, I've...
Oct 23, 2024
Still kicking, doing well
I'm still kicking. My best friend in the whole died, Romeo, my dog. It's been rough. The ketamine infusion after his death was extremely...
May 2, 2024
Christmas is hard
So many unpleasant thoughts seared into my brain around Xmas. Envy of other kids presents Envy of other adults presents Stress of getting...
Dec 25, 2022
Relaxing is hard
I'm trying very hard to enjoy this period of intentional rest. The hours I do spend are barely enough to exercise my tech brain. I...
Dec 16, 2022
Got shot down, relaxing
Got shot down on my system, without a demo. Was a let down, but I know my worth, and all my code works, in my own azure servers, so I...
Nov 3, 2022
Slight holding pattern
I sent off a text to an old work buddy of mine, to get next steps advice for my system. So now, I'm in a slight holding pattern, and I...
Jul 25, 2022
Nearing design parity
This is so damn scary, but also so damn exciting, but so scary! I'm nearing design parity with my old system vs new system. This...
Jun 16, 2022
Still kickin
Had some negativity seep in after deploying my latest release last week. Did two Mindblooms a few days apart, still struggling for some...
May 18, 2022
I am *not pissing in the wind
I'm working sooo very hard, and it's so very much fun. So many hours, doing the exact same damn thing as I used to, build data warehouses...
Apr 22, 2022
Stay the course
In the absence of light, all you need is a spark, and some resources. Got my hours limited to 15, then my chihuahua Tomato died, she was...
Apr 18, 2022
Chains are off, bitches!
I feel like the chains are off. The chains that have been binding me for so long. I kinda knew they were there, but felt I needed them,...
Mar 22, 2022
Winning at a game I don't want to play
My work self has been looking for a home for so long... Work parents that care about me, and want to help me to succeed? I don't think...
Mar 11, 2022
Who needs bubblegum?
"I'm come here to chew bubblegum, and to kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum..." , Rowdy Roddy Piper, They Live, (1988) "Who needs...
Feb 17, 2022
Hiro Nakamura: "Yataaa!!"
I just joined #TheGreatResignation That's what Hiro says when he uses his powers: "Yatta!" I also wrangled an after hours support...
Feb 4, 2022
Deux Upgrade
I just deployed the final chunk of my report portal integrated, fully de-duplicated, data warehouse. All my data structures work. All my...
Jan 14, 2022
New year, lotsa change
December went. I focused on doing my best, mentioned to my boss multiple times that I don't get paid enough to be treated this way. "It...
Jan 6, 2022
The bus goes round N round
I've sent my understudy under the bus. First one since Dusty, back in '99. I can't stand how she constantly actively confuses me, so I've...
Dec 10, 2021
Cha Cha Changesss
My tech is nearly done. My company is imploding. Everyone is leaving left and right, and it's going to be a dumpster fire when things...
Nov 4, 2021
Mindbloom's anxiety protocol works
I really think it's working. I'm definitely less anxious. It kinda shows you how to use that shitty feeling as fuel to do your brain...
Oct 15, 2021
Got dumped by my psychiatrist
So last month's ketamine doctor's appointment didn't result in a prescription for ketamine nasal spray. Didn't think anything of it for a...
Oct 12, 2021
bottom of page